The thing that keeps you up at night

Hey there… I really hate bring up things like this but you have a prob­lem. Actu­ally, we both do. I real­ize that not every­one is up to even admit­ing that there is an issue, much less talk­ing about it but it has to be done.

You know that lit­tle voice in your head, the one that will not shut the hell up when you lay down to go to sleep? Yeah, I know you know what I’m talk­ing about. That voice that is with you every time you try to step out of your shell to do some­thing you would really, really want to do but your fam­ily thinks it is a waste of time. The voice that gives you the feel­ing of lead in the pit of your stom­ach every time you dream of liv­ing the life you actu­ally want.

Do not act like you have no idea of what I am talk­ing about here… I know bet­ter.

I know that feel­ing of being scared that all the hard work and plan­ning will fall apart in just a breath — so you hold your breath to try and keep a grasp on your dream for as long as pos­si­ble. I know the feel­ing of dis­miss­ing the won­der­ful idea you just had because you think you are not good enough to pull it of or that you don’t deserve to enjoy it. I know what it is to come fully awake as soon as you lay down in bed when the dark of the room leaves you alone with your thoughts and dreams only to have them run over by your fears and self-doubts.

That voice that is with you every time you put your­self out there and allow your­self to become

vul­ner­a­ble

Even if you are only think­ing of putting your­self out there, this voice can crop up and put in it’s unwanted 2¢.

The ques­tion is are you going to let it con­trol you or are you going to con­trol it?

The next time you start hear­ing the voice in your head start to crit­i­cize and over ana­lyze your idea for your busi­ness or a life change you may be con­teplat­ing, turn the tables on it. First, rec­og­nize that this voice is not all know­ing and all see­ing. It is your fear pop­ping up. It is not a crys­tal ball telling you exactly how the future will turn out. Next, ana­lyze it. What is it that you are really scared of? What is the worst thing that can happen?

If the answer to that last ques­tion is death… then yeah, you may wnat to lis­ten to the voice. But more than likely it isn’t life threat­en­ing and is prob­a­bly one of these:

I’m scared my friends or fam­ily will  (not love me / make fun of me / fill in blank) .

I’m scared I will fail.

I’m scared they (who­ever “they” are) will loose respect for me or think I am worthless.

But if you look at these log­i­cally, you will see that they are probalby not real­is­tic. Your fam­ily and friends are not going to stop lov­ing you if you try some­thing and it does not work out. If you fail, will the world end? Nope, not at all. But you will have learned valu­able infor­ma­tion for your next project or idea.

The voice of doubt will never leave you but with prac­tice you can learn from it and use it to your advantage.

What’s stopping you?

What is stop­ping you from doing some­thing that you really would like to do? More than likely… it’s you. We are often our own worst enemy, biggest critic, and largest hur­dle that we have to over­come. How long does it take to get the mes­sage? Have you actu­ally lis­tened to how you talk to your­self lately? Would […]

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the American dream?

I’ve always hated the phrase “the Amer­i­can dream”. It just seems weird to me. What is the Amer­i­can dream?  Does every­one have the same dream?  That would be a lit­tle creepy group-think going on if we did. If my dream is dif­fer­ent from yours, which one of us has the Amer­i­can dream? Does that make the other […]

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what exactly does that mean?

to ‘live with­out per­mis­sion’ ? Three lit­tle words that are used all the time indi­vid­u­ally.  When you put them together, it can seem a lit­tle over­whelm­ing.  Maybe even scary.  But what exactly does it mean? The short answer is that it means what­ever you want it to mean. The long answer is… well, that’s a lit­tle longer. […]

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I like cheese… part 2

No, this is not another post on home­made cheese.  But it is about cheese and you can never have enough cheese! When writ­ing I like cheese (part 1), I remem­bered a story that my hus­band told me sev­eral years ago.  I’m sure this will not be nearly as funny as it is when he tells […]

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